yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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