wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
