They should really pass out barf bags in church
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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