The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
