:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
