i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
