i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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