i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
