Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
