My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
