he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
