then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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