He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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