What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
FUCK WHALES
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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