everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
