Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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