"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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