ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
