Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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