I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
