they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
