I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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