if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
