What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
