Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
