The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
