u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
