That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
