HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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