He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
