I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
