So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
