Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jerry, you need to find god
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
