i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
