I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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