I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
