Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
