but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
