Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
