He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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