Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
