idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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