im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
