Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
