I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
