That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
