She is in my trunk
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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