I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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