Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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