The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
do herpes really smell.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
