I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
